WENN

• Lily Allen defends the Elton John incident on her MySpace: "I'm not defending my drunkeness because i don't need to, i'm 23 it was an awards ceremony i drank the free champagne, how awful of me."

• Lindsay Lohan turned down a $700,000 offer to pose naked for Playboy, so everyone will just have to keep ogling the Marilyn Monroe pictures.

• Judging by these photos of Michael Phelps at the Playboy Club in Vegas, we can probably stop asking if he has a girlfriend.

• We're kinda sick of hearing Jessica Simpson talk about throwing up and farting. It's probably best she just stick to declaring her love for Tony Romo.

• Amy Winehouse requested 48 bottles of Jack Daniels to show up at a three-day music festival. Only now are organizers worried that she might not show up at all or will be in no state to perform.

Jamie McCarthy/WireImage.com

• Beyoncé admits she's kinda "over being a pop star" and a "hot girl." Now she just wants to be an icon. Already there, honey.

• Leaked details from Lynne Spears’ new book are pretty juicy, if you’ve missed hot mess Britney.

• Ciroc Obama, aka Diddy, has apologized for saying there are no black people and crackheads in Alaska and gets serious about politics for a minute.

• Heidi Montag’s sister Holly gets in on the Doug Reinhart action. Hills dramabomb!

•  Star Jones has a new boyfriend. He is a chef and looks suspiciously normal.

• Poor David Duchovny is going to miss the reunion of Ocean Beach lifeguards at Maguire's restaurant because of sex-addict rehab.

• Reviewers are surprised that 90210 didn't suck as much as they had anticipated—that's what low expectations will do. How 'bout you guys? Were you feeling the cast or just holding out for every Brenda and Kelly moment?

• Heidi Montag's sister Holly, whom we met on this season's first episode, is now assistant to Girls Gone Wild sleazebag Joe Francis. Montags always know how to keep it classy.

• Don't worry about buying Miley Cyrus a car for her Super Sweet 16—she bought herself one. Also, there's a new contender in town rumored to be her boyfriend.

• Finally the answer to the question on tween minds everywhere: Do the Jonas Brothers wear boxers or briefs? Well, they only wear boxer briefs by American Eagle. (Yeah, slow day, everything's about Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter, still. Sorry.)

INFdaily.com

• An anti-Scientology group has decided to protest Katie Holmes' Broadway debut. The group's goal is to "hopefully get Katie out of it before it's too late.”

• Britney Spears' much-disputed VMA performance is now rumored to be an "appearance." An "appearance" in which she gets her own dressing room. Wink, wink.

• David Duchovny did not check into sex-addict rehab because of an affair with a tennis instructor, but now allegedly because of a porn addiction.

• British tabloids are right on top of their pop star's ODs. In the past couple of days, they've reported Amy Winehouse suffered two in the past year and Pete Doherty had one this past weekend. Also, they suspect Amy has some brain damage.

• John Mayer ended his world tour last night by getting drunk onstage and then partying with a hot blond waitress. Nice to have him back.

Anthony, PacificCoastNews.com

• Carrie Underwood and Michael Phelps are allegedly planning a non-eating first date. Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan could be text harassing Phelps. And all this means we need to cool it on the Phelps talk before the overexposure sets in.

• Heidi Montag receives the least amount of free designer fashion of all the Hills girls because, well, she's Heidi Montag. This explains why she constantly wears the same pieces on the red carpet.

• Also, Heidi must be pretty let down she isn't the official pick as McCain's veep. But hang in there, Heids! Go stage a photo op or something—it'll make you feel better.

• We thought it was weird when Michael Jackson was rocking formal pajama wear in Vegas the other night, but now Madonna has been spotted out in public wearing a "Dancing Queen" bathrobe. Guess this is just the trend for 50-year-old pop icons.

AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian

• Apparently, we're still not done talking about George Clooney's ex Sarah Larson. New gossip says she allegedly cheated on Georgie with a "media mogul." Fool!

• This new Faith Hill single, "A Baby Changes Everything," goes out to Jamie Lynn Spears and Juno. Where was this song a year ago?

• Michael Jackson steps out unmasked for a night in Vegas—wearing formal pajama wear, of course.

• Ali Lohan landed her first magazine cover on a little publication called Vanity Fair. Kidding. Actually, it's something called Supermodels Unlimited.

• And speaking of inappropriately aged child stars, something seems really wrong with this Hannah Montana candy.

AP Photo/Tammie Arroyo

• Matthew McConaughey's mother has a book coming out called I Amaze Myself, in which she writes about Matt's dad dying during sex and then not covering his corpse because she "was just so proud to show off [her] big old Jim McConaughey—and his gift." Awesome or disturbing?

• Michael Phelps isn't the only one with endorsements and management. Apparently, his mom, Debbie, is all over that stuff, too, and Chico's wants in on it.

• We refuse to participate in any Jessica Biel baby bump speculation, except to alert you of its existence.

• Favorite Jennifer Aniston tabloid report of the day (so far!): Jen was on a revenge tour this past week in NYC, making sure everyone saw her smiling and looking sexy.

• About that black eye Kelly Osbourne debuted yesterday. It was actually the result of a kitchen cabinet falling on her face. She's OK, though.

Anthony Dixon / WENN

• Fresh off his Drew Barrymore relationship, Justin Long and Kirsten Dunst were spotted over the weekend "making out hard-core while waiting in line for margaritas." We're not surprised, it all seems pretty obvs.

• Are they even trying with this Desperate Housewives promo? Previous years were these stylized stories shot by David LaChapelle. This new one is pretty ladies acting silly in evening gowns like they're Cameron Diaz or something.

• Kim Kardashian pulls through her sliced toe incident and dons Louboutins. That's why she's a star, kids.

• So, Tara Reid has some sort of clothing line. That's how scary this Hollywood place has become.

• Whitney from The Hills appears to have a different love interest than that perfect model boy MTV has been teasing. This one looks like Justin Bobby but with even more amazing hair.

INFphoto.com

• John Mayer's best paparazzi friends aren't as interested in him wtihout Jen Aniston. Poor John—if anything, we thought this relationship was meant to be.

• "Fearing for his safety," a police officer pulled a gun on Diddy during a routine traffic stop this weekend in L.A. We don't know what went down exactly, but Diddy seems reasonable—he's even flying commericial now that gas prices are too high for his jet.

• Another music video from another Disney Channel star. This time it's Demi Lavato's turn to rock, and she does an all right job at it. Next time, we suggest throwing in some attacks on Miley Cyrus if she really wants to make it.

• Latest bizarro Batman casting rumor: Cher is allegedly playing Catwoman. That should go rather nicely with David Silver's Riddler.

• And because we love Heidi Montag's Olivia Newton-John impression so much, here's a pic of Spencer curling Heids' hair.

INFphoto.com

• Ticket sales for Katie Holmes' new Broadway show are “definitely off from what the production hoped," even after her parade of bizarre denim. Maybe everyone forgot about Joey Potter's rousing stage performances.

• The Brangelina twins on the cover of People is the mag’s fourth-highest seller, right after special issues about the deaths of Princess Di, John F. Kennedy Jr. and events of 9/11. Meaning it is the No. 1 issue of happy, magical news.

• Michael Phelps is living the life of a star now—you know, making out with hot girls and writing memoirs.

• If you'd like to re-create the Gwen Stefani birthing experience for yourself, the second-most important thing to do after thinking of a really weird name that will make blogs everywhere go "huh?" is picking up your own birthing gown/sundress in a pinch at BYOG.

Flynet

• Jessica Simpson responds to Carrie Underwood's passive-aggressive taunting about Tony Romo still calling her as BS, because Jess "looked at his call log." Oh, Jess, you're not supposed to admit to doing that.

• The Britney Spears/Justin Timberlake duet is said to be happening again. But this time for real.

• Posters for Katie Holmes' Broadway debut have been revealed. Sadly, they do not feature her rolled jeans.

• Oprah is reportedly just as sick of being on the cover of O as everyone else is of seeing her on the cover of O.

• Brad & Angie are planning to prove they're good neighbors by allegedly holding a special soiree for their town, as suggested by the mayor.

AP Photo/Lisa Rose

• Today in Mayer-Aniston breakup gossip, John reportedly dumped Jen via text. If you have your own fun deets you'd like to add, please leave it in the comment section. Winner gets a high-five from Angelina Jolie.

• Ellen blogs about her wedding, writes it was "all a blur." So be sure to tune in to the new season of her show Sept. 8 and pick up your copy of People!

• Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams are said to be totally dating once again! See, love does conquer all.

• Can someone please explain what's going on with Christina Aguilera's new perfume ad?

• Madonna celebrated her B-day with "crack baby" shots—that's vodka and champagne. Is it too early for one of those?

• PETA decided to get in the middle of the Hogan divorce. Ugh, we can't decide who's more annoying—the Hogans or PETA.