Soup's On: A Black Woman in the White House?
Tyra as first lady is no doubt the last thing Obama wants, but thankfully, that didn't stop the irrepressible Banks from pretending to be the candidate's better half. Watch her square off in the Oval Office, and much, much more.
And is it just us, or does the black-dress-and-wig combo suggest a kind of Jackie Kennedy thing? Anyway, tune in tonight at 10 p.m. for the complete Soup experience.
The Selma Blair Acid Test: It's Good for What Ails Ya
Alequin/Perez/INFphoto.com
God knows, we here at The Soup Blog have been plagued for years with insecurities about our looks (let’s just say we have a face made for blogging), but though we’ve run the gamut of alleged solutions—from Victoria Principal’s revolutionary three-step cleansing, firming, anti-aging method to John Oates-style facial hair to avoiding any reflective surface—we’ve never tried dropping LSD. That’s Selma Blair’s answer to her looks issues, and you can count on the stars for researched, responsible drug recommendations.
You Sent It, You Watch It: Poison Rainbows Will Kill Us All!
A mind is a terrible thing to waste, and so is a video. Here at The Soup Blog, we get plenty of ‘em—videos, that is, along with the odd human brain formed out of tasty homemade fudge—and those URLs are really starting to accumulate. So welcome to the new reader-fueled feature wherein we sample what you’ve sent. Watch 'em, rate 'em and send your own. And fudge heads are always welcome, too.
Leeb27983 offers this shocking evidence of deadly, chemical-based rainbows that appear in your sprinklers. "This cannot be natural! We as a nation have got to ask ourselves, what the hell is going on?!" Watch—if you dare.
Mail Nurse: Another Load of Answers
E! Network
From joel-dirksz: men yore osem
Thonks!
From dyamondbrowder: does rihanna go with chris brown?
No, but she does go with a fruity, well-balanced Beaujolais.
From jerico: Were did the Jonas Brothers grow up in/hometown? Were is Jonas Brothers next concert?
You’ve come to the right place, jerico, as The Soup Blog is well known and respected as the ultimate one-stop site for Jonas Brothers information. The Brothers didn’t actually “grow up,” as much as they were created and manufactured by a team of NASA robotics specialists and the Disney Imagineering brain trust. Developed over a period of years, the android pop combo’s hometown would technically be the secret subterranean lab located beneath an abandoned airstrip in the Mojave Desert. Hope this helps.
Tila Tequila Says Ta Ta to Reality Love
Jordan Strauss/WireImage.com
Attention men, women and bisexuals! If you’re looking for love with Vietnam’s hottest export since Bun Bo Satee—one Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen, aka Tila Tequila (no, she’s not Mexican after all)—you’re in for a load of steaming heartbreak. The diminutive star, who capitalized on her unique skills for posing naked with her show A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila, has revealed there will be no more shots at whatever slim, dollar-fueled surface emotion counts as “love” to her Tilaship. Why?
She’s found the real thing with Courtenay Semel, a girl, FYI. “MTV asked me to do another season, but I don't want to do that right now,” offered the smitten sex kitten, whose blossoming relationship has brought her to new levels of self-respect, personal growth and maturity. “I'm going to do something else with my life,” pledged Tequila. “It's time to move on.”
McHale's Weekend: Joel Goes West
Jeremy Cowart / E! Networks
Once again, the tireless comedy machine that is Joel McHale will be taking time out from his hectic Soup schedule to bring his in-person, laugh-tastic stylings to you, the people. He’ll be appearing in Las Vegas at the Theatre at Mandalay Bay (which is apparently located at Mandalay Bay) on Friday, Aug. 8 at 9 p.m. Then on Saturday , Aug. 9 catch him at the Majestic Theater in Dallas at 7 p.m. This is plenty of advanced warning, so get your tickets and start considering your drink choice.
Mr. Bubble, R.I.P.
We invited him into our bathtubs, he made us smile, he made us clean. And now he is dead. The Soup Blog is saddened to learn that Mr. Bubble, a victim of old age, bankruptcy and changing attitudes has passed on. The pink, oval man with the jolly basso profundo voice was a beloved figure to generations of fun-seeking bathers, a seemingly ageless fellow whose calling card to dirty children was a vigorous cleansing and a face full of foamy good times. Yet, in Hollywood circles, thrice-divorced Bubble was known for his many affairs with some of the industry’s most sought after spokes vixens, particularly his heated, on again, off again relationship with syrup queen Aunt Jemima, a lengthy tryst with tantric love proponent St. Pauli Girl and a six-month romance with firebrand Tanya Tucker (his only human dalliance), which Bubble described to close friend Merv Griffin as “a sheer living hell. And I loved every goddamned minute of it!”
Clip of the Day: America's Got Talent
Once again, our blessed nation proves that it does indeed have talent, and not just for expensive wars, but for fighting transvestites. Will the fake Tina Turner triumph over the fake Britney? Thankfully, a portion of America's massive, swinging talent is dedicated to cheap and excessive drama, as these two queens prove with majesty. Enjoy!
Vexed Rex Direx Hexes, Perplexes
The sheer size of Brian Trenchard-Smith’s slacks must be staggering, as they have to accommodate the enormous cojones it takes to throw down against The Soup. Who is this man, this Brian Trenchard-Smith, you may be asking? Why he's the director of classic cinema like Hospitals Don’t Burn Down, The Siege of Firebase Gloria and the film that landed him on the Soup’s radar, Aztec Rex. Refresh your memory with the clip; then watch Trenchard-Smith's trenchant smiting of our man McHale and the very show itself.
Doctor's Orders: Dre Says Drink Up!
Johnny Nunez/Getty Images
What with the weed-based entertainment bookends of Pineapple Express and the just-announced Cheech and Chong reunion tour, it’s nice to see that at least one star is still pushing the old-fashioned, legal way to get obliterated. And that would be Dr. Dre, who’s prescribing his upcoming personal line of cognac. (And why not? Snoop Dogg's been pimping Landy Cognac for months.)
It’s all good news; as folks in Soup land know, it’s always cognac o’clock somewhere. And if your tastes run to vodka, the good doctor has you covered. After his Aftermath Cognac hits the liquor-store shelves, Dre’s 80-proof sparkling vodka will debut, in flavored varieties and plain old vodka-tasting.
The really, really, really great thing? Counterintuitive marketing whiz that he is, the booze launch will coincide with the drop of Dre’s new album, Detox.
Arrested Development: A Big Hand for Shia?
If you’ve ever wanted to get into the shorts of Arrested Development’s Tobias Fünke, well, you’ve blown it. An eBay auction for the Daisy Duke-ragged, 33-waist Levi cutoffs worn so effectively by David Cross ended this morning with the lucky winner shelling out $309.57. Fans will recall Tobias’ unique “never nude” fixation, which made the shorts a mandatory wardrobe feature.
But don’t despair. In what could be good news for producers of the next Transformers epic looking for a cheap stand-in for Shia LaBeouf’s injured south paw, Arrested character Buster Bluth's prosthetic lefty (installed after a tragic seal attack) is still on the auction block for a mere $24.99 at press time. Check the clip to see said hand in action.
Lip Service: Who Is Selena's Mystery Man?
AP Photo/Chris Pizzello, ZumaPress.com
Good news, America. Finally, we can all rest easier knowing the deadly hatchet that glints so wickedly in the high-stakes world of tween relationships has been buried in the bitter Miley vs. Selena throw-down. But wait. Intrigue is still ripe in the world of Barney & Friends alum Gomez, who is keeping coy and mum about the mystery man in her fevered romantic life. "While we were slow dancing, my crush and I had our first kiss!" This despite the fact that notoriously chaste Selena doesn't kiss on the first date. The chap's reply? "Well, I never really play by the rules." Pundits have speculated the lip servicer is Nick Jonas, but given the rebel, rule-breaker stance, consider the Soup Blog's short list of S.G.'s prospective bad-boy paramours.
